breakabrush

2010-03-01T04:12:00.001+08:00

I'm a bloody lucky bastard, ya'll.

Creative Blockssss......

2010-01-25T02:08:00.006+08:00

Or procrastination?

Sometimes i really can't distinguish between them.

Since the start of my final year project(FYP), i have entered this timezone of only deadlines ("10th, 17th, 28th.....") almost completely oblivious to the day or week of the month. I used to hate Mondays' and love Fridays and Saturdays, but now my weeks have no head or tail just a mash of dates counting down till the next deadline, and all over again till the FINAL countdown - the race to the finish line. I have since also completely dismissed my biological clock, turning my world upside down. But i think i have gotten used to it and i still get my sufficient hours of sleep. I'm just wondering whether sleeping 8 hours in the morning is the same as sleeping 8 hours at night, or as long as you get your 8 or so hours of sleep be it in anytime of the day is alright? Humm? Don't know. Who needs to know? What day is it today?

As I look forward to the end of my entire poly life, to what i would like to sum up as maybe THE MOST productive 3 years of my life, i hope to end it on a good note.

sundays

2009-05-17T23:37:00.001+08:00

.........................

18TH

2009-05-01T01:08:00.000+08:00

So it is!(:

2009-04-25T03:32:00.003+08:00

Dude,

2009-04-25T03:01:00.004+08:00

NUMBER 17th

2009-04-01T00:40:00.001+08:00

i think......(:

LML

2009-02-22T05:14:00.002+08:00

Hi, one more week left for publication and a lot of improvement
works to do. Always wonderful to have you.

OUR DECEMBER

2008-12-15T05:04:00.005+08:00

........

PLEASED.

2008-11-30T03:19:00.004+08:00

I think it's important to know that you
can always pull yourself out when things get tough.

Untitled

2008-11-02T01:38:00.002+08:00

I think there are cobwebs on my blog.
It's been so long.

(:

hallelujah

2008-10-07T02:28:00.001+08:00

back back back back back back

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

2008-09-24T18:40:00.002+08:00

I'm rotting.....

Today reads another chapter

2008-09-21T02:30:00.004+08:00

With things only for the best,
with things only for the better,
Now take away the things that don't matter.

Sudden realizations, open confessions,
masters of deceptions, insecurities, weak feeders,
only in hopes to let them all know,
these are the things that don't matter.

Importance,
zero.

If i haven't told you

2008-09-06T00:59:00.003+08:00

If i haven't told you this, let me tell it to you now...

Thanks dear,
I love you.

Ironically

2008-08-20T23:19:00.003+08:00

I think the most amazing thing in life is incompletion........

Would had locking the door really matter?

2008-08-06T01:13:00.002+08:00

Press the door bells, i'm waiting.
Let me in?
Maybe not.

Get my keys out.
What do you know, it doesn't work.
Press the door bells, i'm waiting.

I hear a door bell.
Should i open?
Maybe not?

Try to open it. It works.
It wasn't even locked.
I see you.

See how it starts all over again?

Never saw it coming.

weird post isn't it....humm...

August, 2, 2008

2008-08-02T01:30:00.006+08:00

Our 1st MONTH

Back again i will see you,
you can never escape,
cause i will find you.

I miss you dear...

Awaited nothing

2008-07-08T22:19:00.007+08:00

i don't know why i just keep letting
things like that get to me. Maybe i'm
too weak to justify my own actions, and i
keep letting you take over. You, not you, me.
My inadequacy, permanent, my understanding, minimal.
My future, faced at my own reflection, everything
in my control, my success, my ability to understand,
to be adequate, and i'm faced with one question,
"Can you stop asking yourself questions?". The
bear minimal, the least of my understanding. My
goals not gone, just hidden, my understanding
there, but just not seen, do not what you do
not want others to do to you, one meaning to it,
but seen in too many ways.
The simplest of things become hard to comprehend,
the obviousness of expressions become an assumption
of one's perception, only to be subjected.
By you, not you, me.

My long awaited nothing.

The Bananaguin (experience)

2008-05-31T23:46:00.004+08:00

i would love to make something clear,
but little do i know what to say.
A new block is beginning
and i have no clue of what i'm in-stored for.
Can't be any less prepared than ever,
feels like two weeks had gone by in a day's period.
Haven't been having an appetite for anything else
except the thoughts of you.
Who am i kidding here, the start of year two with little to be voracious about,
i'm a hyperbolism(whatever that may be),
my tooth is chipped,
not literally,
i'm caught by contemplation, so sue me.
Why am i telling you this,
you can't talk to mee.

i am a fucker

2008-05-27T02:54:00.002+08:00

i can't fuck stand myself.

The 3am rule

2008-05-18T02:57:00.003+08:00

We deserve so much better.
Trying to make things right again?

That piece of shit

2008-05-18T02:05:00.004+08:00

Tell you what,
let me say something about you
let me dwell in your failure,
scrutinize your single set back.
and then let me take it all back.

How does that sound?

Make up your damn mind, man.

Hate me and make it clear.

Life's a sucker, fooled

2008-04-22T00:25:00.003+08:00

1. Apples in the trees
2. Boats on ocean blues
3. Caught by the sunlight
4. Dimmed by the night light
5. Endless breeze
6. Falling leaves
7. Gable ends
8. Housing light
9. ice cubes placed just for that night
10. Jabbed by the cool stink on skin
11. Kiss my ass
12. Light it on fire
13. My nose itches
14. Oily faces
15. Purposely imperfect

Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z.

L.M.L

2008-04-09T01:57:00.006+08:00

Only you know what i mean....

MyImpatience as a man only shows how weak i am,
but i will be strong....

By tomorrow, we will officially both be workers of society.
I will pray for you tonight, our love will keep us strong.

2.03

"Have you ever feel like you can't wait to go to bed? Not
just to sleep though? Something much more."

well, i do, and it's because ican't.
because for now, my dreams will be the
only way that i can fall asleep beside
you, will my arms around you,
every night.........

2.08

EMMAN.NEW.WORLD

2008-04-01T00:49:00.004+08:00

Painted my Shoes

2008-03-30T22:05:00.005+08:00

My day's work

Needless to say

2008-03-24T23:37:00.007+08:00

There are many things that trouble my mind right now.
Things that i can't explain, things that i never can
understand? Comprehend? And somewhere inside me, i
have given up the reason for existence, or even to
tell myself why. For reasons of my own, i no longer
exist to myself.

Maybe because i can't explain how things work in life
anymore, how one can be so inhuman, so obvious, yet
no one really knows. Am i to prevent all this, is that
my purpose? We see every soul pass us by, in bodies
and endless minds. Do they have a purpose? Does their
mind serve a greater existence? Posers, pretenders,
liars, procrastinators, they walk amongst us, with
a note at the back of my head that i might be one of
them. For if i am, then write this about me, how i have
failed, failed to see the obvious, how i have become so
inhuman, yet no one knows.

That's if i fail, then let everything be upon me. Let
other failures be mine to blame, let every sadness be
mine to bare, so that they can live without trepidation,
and let them let go. If i can take everyone's pain, and
carry it for them, wouldn't my happiness be worth much
much more?

Then I'll just be a body, with my soul only waiting to go.
Thinking it the way i put it, wouldn't i have a purpose then?
A reason for existence?

But it will all have to start with a failure..........
"MY LITTLE FAILURE, I SUCCEEDED"

yet to be.

My latest wonder

2008-03-21T22:59:00.006+08:00

My thoughts are clear, with an endless sense.
Day 112th and more......

You're my tender edge

2008-03-18T00:31:00.004+08:00

I speak for the both of us when i say that we are really getting tired.

They think that it's so easy to just say
whatever they want, when we have
tried so hard here. I will and have never
bother me since, but when it's to hurt what
i got, my believes, my hope, my true love,
then thats going too far. I remember the
things that i said and promise, to fight for
our love, but never will i fight for a girl, this
statement is tested on to me, and i will hold true to it.
But the fact is, it's hard, not the part to keep to
my words, but to prove "them" wrong. But honestly,
that don't matter to me, even if it's against something over me.
Have i ever ask for anything more, but to be accepted? I just ask to be given achance,
and i will never ask for more, because the rest is up to me. Broken bushes,
freak accidents, these are the tales of a fink, despised and looked down upon.

I cannot think of other ways to fight the closest, but to only pray for the strength
of my God.

With each breathe, i have lived for you. Die i will, for the good of us. Hold me humbled,
as i beg for us, the love i have prayed for, you have given us.

-My tender edge

You're my Assassin

2008-03-15T01:55:00.003+08:00

I need a silence killer in my life
The one that will stay by my side
Whisper i may into your ears
behind the bushes as we were

There we are unheard and seen
Our comfort, not the bushes
But you and me
Did you remember to bring the plan
With us forever in our hands

We wait patiently for the time's right
Let's dash out of the bushes
There is no one in sight
We enter the house
Quiet it seems
realising that no one's in

Our plan we made
Remember forever
You're my Assassin
I'm your master mind

Do you remember the plan we brought
With us forever
till death do us apart

............

The much awaited

2008-03-13T17:07:00.002+08:00

To be continued....

PHOTO-GRA-PHY

2008-02-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

For you only

2008-02-26T00:40:00.001+08:00

One's pride

2008-02-18T14:34:00.017+08:00

Things i have been thinking of

2008-02-16T15:37:00.005+08:00

Things i have been thinking of,
learning to be an artist?
Learning to be a lover?

Living for purpose?
It's all of a sudden that i can't remember
the last time i was alone. A time when i was asking
myself questions to figure out a purpose for life, for
my life. Existence? Purpose? i can't remember those
times like i used to as clearly as i did. But all the more
reasons i have much to say. How you came in my life,
how i spoke about needing someone, how i wanted
to know what love really means. Times when i shook off
all the pain, remembering one purpose that kept me going.
I need not do that to my body no more, to absorb fear, to
live knowing death. Fear nothing, be afraid of everything.
I have never said i knew as much, but i spoke like i knew how
we are(people), generally. Creating voices, creating expressions.
So be it that we are who we are, but do i give myself a chance,
praying works, but how long can we pray and hold on, i know
that there were occasions that i couldn't.

But i can now say all has changed. If anyone who has read what i
wrote above have wasted their time, because none of that really matters
now, only you. Artist or nothing.

Follow up

2008-02-07T02:01:00.000+08:00

Been waiting for chinese new year for a while.
Just love the sotong balls that my mum cooks.

(=

Thank You

2008-01-31T05:48:00.000+08:00

I have so much to say...
So much i want to show to you...
So much love i have...

i just want to tell it all, tell about our story,
but not just yet, not just yet.

i love you

To a new inspiration

2008-01-25T05:19:00.001+08:00

Humble Voices

2008-01-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

Been working on a project for awhile,
and today, i finally complete it. Titled,
Humble Voices.

That was my sunday

2008-01-22T04:33:00.001+08:00

Went for a shot together with my brothers.
And we had a little fun along the way. Hehe.

Some pictures from that very sunday of mine.(=

My vague confession

2008-01-17T12:53:00.000+08:00

Well, finally slept for more than 10hours today.
A much needed one too.

Wonder how my girl is doing?

Anyway, left with 7 days to complete 2 assignments, haha,
i feeling pretty alright. Feeling lazy now though, can't
seem to know what i can do now.....

Need to confirm what i will be doing for the italian project,

need to put aside 16 hours for my album cover work,

need to complete everything by tomorrow.

Humm...now all i want to do, is to blow everyones minds
with this last assignments. i'm feeling back, my wondering
eyes have finally something to say.....

Titled sometimes

2008-01-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

I wanted to post a blog up today...
but instead i decided to write it out somewhere else....

Don't ask.....because it's something no one needs to know...

But for the record, it doesn't really matter either.

My Promise to You

2008-01-06T22:56:00.000+08:00

i know that you need me....
Take my hand and we will just run,
just you and me,
away from the world,
away from all that don't matter in the world,
tell me,
and i will be ready.

MAKING WAY

2008-01-02T01:22:00.001+08:00

Tuesday, January, 1, 2008

2008-01-01T22:16:00.001+08:00

alrightY!!...
We made it!! With all the right reasons.

I am in love with someone, and she with me, and if you ask, i don't really need to say anything anymore, just take a look, and you will find out.....

i can't imagine myself without you now.

I am your private affair, your lover, your joy
and you to me.
I am happy because what more can i ask for, friends, forgiveness, and most importantly YOU!

YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!(=

GUESS WHAT DAY THIS IS TO ME!!!!! GuEsS wHAt dAy tHiS to uS!!!

Hahahahahaha............

LoveyouPLentylikewaterfromarunningtap

* 8more minutes to Day 2(=
11:53

The lift Opens, You Are There

2007-12-27T17:21:00.000+08:00

The Year is Coming to An End

2007-12-27T16:31:00.000+08:00

But it was a good one year...........(to be s-pecific with a silence S)hahaha.....a great 27 days.

Struggling, Understanding, Learning, Giving, Receiving, and finally being..............

I would probably never want to ask for anything better in life anymore, but to let me give even more.
to take your worries away,
to let you smile again,
to wash our sins away,
to let you love again,
I hope i have done all this for you, i hope i have always been there for you when you want me to, i hope i have given you love, love that you have to dearly hoped for, i hope i have been your shelter, the comfort that you can always hold on to, i hope i have given you strength, to move on, and never be afraid.....if i have not, let me keep loving you, let me be your everything......

[I REMEMBERED BECAUSE I HAVE TO, MY PROMISE TO YOU, I WILL KEEP, FOR YOU I WILL]

(That very day) Wednesday, 28, 2007

I feel exhausted.........

From what i had taken and bared,
From what i had hated and forgive,
From searching and never finding,
I'm done, i don't want to pretend.............

Thursday, 29, 2007

I pretended no more..............
Let me love you.....now and forever........

(Day 1) Saturday, 1, 2007,

And I will remember it now and forever, i asked and you replied, i gave and you gave back....
And I look now for our days together, waking up with the sun so beautiful, with the smell of your hair taking me back,
and i ask myself

"Will you keep me in my dreams, O Lord? Let me dream and never wake up, let me sleep, and never have to be afraid ever again, ever again...."

(Day 27) Thursday, 27, 2007

I'm sitting hear listening........

I never really told you how i felt during those days the way you told me, because..................

I wouldn't finish that up, Well, i don't think i need to anymore............with all the right reasons....(=......

Thank you my lady.

We are getting there

2007-12-20T01:37:00.000+08:00

Listening to

Match Box Twenty-How far we've come

Understanding you

2007-12-18T04:03:00.000+08:00

She told me it made her hungry

What are you hungry for?

Understanding me

2007-12-16T03:32:00.000+08:00

I heard you

2007-12-16T00:20:00.000+08:00

Everything seem so dull.....
Colours start to mean less....
Life start to seem empty.......
And it is all because i am here without you for just a day.....

Even hearing your voice is never enough.....

But at the end of the day.....
I just hope you will smile when you go to bed....
You will be happy when you see me again in your dreams....
And you will see me again.....

Forever you will be........................

Enough

2007-12-14T02:58:00.001+08:00

sh-i-t in your life!!
GET THE F__K OVER YOURSELF!!!!

pointless pictures...........................

Why even ask myself

2007-12-14T01:27:00.000+08:00

Why is it that every time something perfect happens i fall afraid and just try to hurt myself and hurt the people that care so much about me.

WHY! WHY! WHY!!!!!....stop doing this to yourself now!! Please!!!

I think it's because i love you so so so damn much that i never been so so so damn damn sure about a feeling in my life
that i am afraid to wake up one day losing every thing.........
I am just stupid to be thinking all this shit! FUCK!! and hurting you more than i know.
i'm so sorry so sorry so sorry.................

One of those moments

2007-12-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today marks the 12th of 12th, but it feels like we have known each other for a long time.
And things are beginning to make sense. Things that didn't really made sense do now, and things that didn't really seem right seems all the reason for.

haha.....it sounds funny, but never a joke, it feels unbelievable, but it feels so right....

i need you now, you are my reason, you are my purpose.................you are the world to me........

Shot of the day

2007-12-07T18:05:00.001+08:00

One of Those Moments

One of those moments

2007-12-07T17:32:00.000+08:00

finding a location for a good set up shot....one of those moments

i will be your inspiration

2007-12-07T15:16:00.000+08:00

This pictures have been in my folder for awhile and i finally ready to show it to the world now.

.............Today makes 7th.......forever you will be.......

What i found

2007-12-03T12:05:00.000+08:00

It being my first

It was beautiful

-Day two

OH YAY.

2007-12-02T01:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so smart and I figured out how to change the time on my blog!

Changes

2007-12-01T03:47:00.000+08:00

Taking time of what we have thought.
Changing colours in my life.

This is marketing

2007-11-26T02:36:00.000+08:00

This was taken from one of my photography trips around Singapore.

I can't really remember where exactly did i take it but the moment i saw it, it just catch my sight.
Hahaha.....
This is what i call advertising
This is what i call Marketing
This is what i call a good picture

HAHAHA...enjoy!!

How far can we go in a day?

2007-11-23T02:00:00.000+08:00

Today i went shooting with my brother, and like every photographer would begin, it started with a switch.

What we understand in life, is far different from what we believe in life. But we still ask ourselves, what can we see?

Are we afraid to stand up without looking back? are we afraid to walk on knowing we will be alone?

30years to live in life? What does that mean to me?

But seeing how life has been, maybe i would like stay on a little longer.

And if you ever see me again, would you sit with for drink?

I'm beginning to understand how life works now. We live our lives, and we continue to live our life, and on our way we meet some people in our life(friends), people that we will remember for the rest of our lives no matter how long we live, and one day we will be sitting around this table having this one last drink..........but friends forever.....

2007-11-18T19:50:00.000+08:00

My Virgin Post

2007-11-16T19:01:00.000+08:00

This is my Virgin Post.

My name is Emmanuel Pang Soon Wei. I am 17 years old this year. I like to break brushes and mispronounce words. I live in a shell in somepleace in Singapore. My school is Temasek Polytechnic and I like going to school very much.