Awaited nothing

i don't know why i just keep letting
things like that get to me. Maybe i'm
too weak to justify my own actions, and i
keep letting you take over. You, not you, me.
My inadequacy, permanent, my understanding, minimal.
My future, faced at my own reflection, everything
in my control, my success, my ability to understand,
to be adequate, and i'm faced with one question,
"Can you stop asking yourself questions?". The
bear minimal, the least of my understanding. My
goals not gone, just hidden, my understanding
there, but just not seen, do not what you do
not want others to do to you, one meaning to it,
but seen in too many ways.
The simplest of things become hard to comprehend,
the obviousness of expressions become an assumption
of one's perception, only to be subjected.
By you, not you, me.

My long awaited nothing.